I have a class called “Leading People and Organizations”. The nature of the class is slightly different than my other classes. It’s boring and contextual on paper, but the idea behind it is very interesting. The past couple of lectures I had was very interesting— all about change and how to become a socially intelligent leader.
I got to spill my guts out to a group of people (that was formed at the beginning of the class last month) about some deeply personal stuff. Two days ago, I had to describe what a major change is in my life (which, I think all of you know) and I had to really polish the whole story up in order for me not to get too attached or emotional about it (because every time I open my mouth about it, I somehow get all choked up).
Interestingly enough, the following day after that, we had a group session again (the class is 50% lecture, 50% group discussions) and we had to give constructive feedback to one another. Most of the feedbacks that I received were, “you’re quiet, share more” or “trust in yourself and your beliefs” or “I find you shy, just lay it out there” or the interesting comment “I don’t know” (which I laughed at because I find it interesting that I got that). Anyway, I wasn’t at all surprised by those feedbacks, half of my life revolved around being too shy, or quiet or second guessing myself and I always had to hear it from people whom I’ve know my whole life. It’s interesting and great to hear it from a group of people that I barely know because it’s not subjective in my eyes anymore.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve spent a good amount of my work dealing and talking with people who I barely know without any form of shyness or hesitation. I’ve literally come up to people who I don’t know to strike up a conversation, but for some reason, I’m clamming up over here.
Anyway, that’s all for now.